How I kind of taught my daughter how to swim.
The first trip to the pool every summer is the hardest and most annoying! After you gather all of the supplies, almost pass out from blowing up the toys, pack snacks, and remember where you stashed the sunscreen last summer... you have to actually pack the car and get out the door with everything!
On our first trip this summer I forgot the all powerful "floaties". I was not going back! After taking an hour to get in the car the adventure would be over if I had to change course now. So I did what any mother would do whose daughter was crying about not being able to get in the pool because she can't swim...
I Lied
I said to her "You couldn't swim last year because you were four... but now you're five, and 5-year-olds know how to swim!". She stopped crying, "really?" she asked. "Yep I don't know why, but when you turn five your body knows what to do!"
So far so good, the rest of the ride was quiet except for the very loud terrified look coming from my 11-year-old's eyes, that quietly screamed "really mom?", in the rear view mirror. We got to the pool with smiles and giggles and just as I was spreading my towel for a nice rest on the lounge chair, I hear Jarrah (the newly empowered 5-year-old swimmer) run and jump into the deep end!
I thought to myself "here we go, Sink or SWIM!"
I was terrified, beyond the fact that she was in the deep end of the pool, this was the moment in time that mom becomes the biggest liar or the most awesome motivator. I ran to the edge of the pool to be close for whatever was about to happen... there was gasping, flailing, and calling for mama, it was awful! I was petrified and the next 10 seconds lasted an eternity, but when she looked into my eyes with horror, questioning why I wasn't helping, I firmly said "you can do this", and she believed me. She wildly swam to the edge and I helped her climb out. Her first words were. "I almost died! Why didn't you help me!!!?"
That broke my heart! This feeling right here is the very reason I would never recommend this technique to anyone! "Don't try this at home!" She was so disappointed with me.
So, I lied again!
I said, "No you didn't! That is just how swimming feels the first time you do it." I went on to explain that it was not the feeling of dying that she experienced, but rather the way it feels to use your swimming muscles for the first time... and how with every swim, it feels better. She turned around and started walking away. I thought she was going away to never talk to me again, but she walked back to the pool and jumped right back in the water!!! When she got back to the edge, with multiplied grace, she said "you're right, that was much easier this time!". Luckily she found her way back to three feet where she hung out for a while "swimming" back and forth!
In that 10 minutes time, she was empowered, bold, and confident. She was 5, and that meant she was a swimmer!
Thank God that the only other parent at the pool was a very laid back dad, and not the mom with DFACS on speed dial... otherwise I would be working my case plan right now! When I got back to my chair, that dad said to me "that was intense". I finally felt myself breathe again and chuckled a little while I told him a bit of the back story, to which he responded, "wow, good job, that's the way to do it!".
And with that, Jarrah knew how to swim, and I felt empowered just by being myself. I realized that maybe lies are not such a bad thing... and maybe we need to redefine a few of them from, "damaging untruth" to "tools of motivation".
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